Meeting that Special Individual

Love and sex are great, but they're not too much fun on your own.
To get the best out of sex you need a partner. And to really get the best, you need a loveing relationship. So how do you go about finding one? Can it be done single-mindedly, as if it were any other task? Or does it demand a special emotional state where you are ready and open for love? It may seem strange and selfish when started bluntly, but in oder to love someone else well, you probably need to love yourself, too.

What Is Love?

Love can be funny or sad. Romantic or painful. First love is often the most poignant. But so too is last love, experienced later in life. It's possible to love a partner with passion, with distance, with aching sexual desire, or in such a completely innocent fashion that sex doesn't even comointo it. Some people say that they never fall in love, while others are not sure that they love even when, blatantly, they do!

BE FOR AND AFTER

THEN & NOW

~MY BABY'S~ JORDAN JOSE, HENDA & ROSABELLA

RE`- FOR THE LADDY'S

WELL DONT WE ALL WISH WE COULD HAVE A LITTLE PEEK UNDER THOSE HAT'S!!! WELL I SURE DO.
I WISH I WAS THERE TO SEE THE HAT TRICK IN PERSON..

THIS ONE IS FOR THE LADYS

just a little bit for your mind!

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?" The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less."
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things."
Jilly Cooper.
"You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths."
Steven Wright (...more Steven Wright Quotes).

"Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable."
Cher.

"A genius is a man who can rewrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over."
Dino Levi.

"Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you."
Mae West.

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest."
Roseanne Barr.

"When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."
Rita Rudner.

"No man is an island, but some of us are pretty long peninsulas."
Ashleigh Brilliant.

"If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow."
John Wayne.

"Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.."
Diana Jordan.

my father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ! I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

here we go agian

Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself.

Happiness is felt by making other people happy.

You have ONE advantage over me.....you can kiss my ass and I can't!!

whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door....

Behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon

When you lose someone, you realize just how much that person means to you, So maybe its a good thing they're gone. So you can see just how much that person means to you

stupid thang's ppl say!

"Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion." - Madonna
"Man shots neighbor with machete." - Miami Herald, headline
"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." - Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
"Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey, Pop Singer
"I say no to drugs, but they don't listen." - Marilyn Manson, Singer
"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate." - Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.
"The largest crowd ever in the state of Las Vegas." - Mark Jones, TV Broadcaster
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." - Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
"I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right" - Marlon Starling
"Okay, everyone, now inhale... and then dehale!" - Maury Wills, Los Angeles Dodgers captain, leading his teammates through warm-up calisthenics
"Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding." - Mickey Rivers, baseball player
"It's like when I buy a horse. I don't want a thick neck and short legs." - Mickey Rourke, Actor, describing what he wants in a woman.
"I'd rather be dead than singing 'Satisfaction' when I am forty-five." - Mick Jagger, Pop Singer, before he turned 45
"I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife." - Mike Greenwell, Baseball player
"It's got lots of installation." - Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, describing his new coat
"Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it." - Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant.
"I'm convinced the Beatles are partly responsible for the fall of Communism." - Milos Forman, Film director
"I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." - Miss Alabama, in the 1994 Miss Universe contest, when asked if she would want to live forever.
"The Lybian army is capable of destroying America and breaking its nose." - Muammar Qaddafi, Libyian President
"A 'No Parking' sign at a certain location means..." - multiple choice question on NY State learner's permit test
"Except for his car, he's the only man on the track." - Murray Walker, Sportcaster
"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." - Murray Walker, Sportscaster
"Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansel. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers." - Murray Walker, Sportscaster
"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite" - Murray Walker, Sportscaster

quote of the day

The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do

CHRISTMAS IS OVER!!!!

well i am glad i dont have to find any more santa jokes or pic's for the blog! i was kinda getin ho~ed out ...well i hope everyone had a nice christmas ,,

did you know

Marilyn Monroe, the most celebrated sex icon of the 20th century, confessed to a friend that despite her three husbands and a parade of lovers, she had never had an orgasm.
Did You Know That?

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy... you explain the kids."

siting on santa lap

At Christmas, a little girl goes to see Santa.She climbs on his lap and smiles.Santa says," And what can I bring you for Christmas?"The little girl says, " I want a Barbie and a GI joe."Santa looks at her and says," I thought Barbie comes with Ken."The little girl says, " No, Barbie comes with GI joe, she fakes it with Ken."

roughtest hooker

day, after striking gold in Alaska, a Lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town."I'm lookin' for the meanest, toughest and roughest hooker in the Yukon," he said to the bartender."We got her" replied the bartender. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right."The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the hooker and two beers. He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked the door open on the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm looking for the meanest roughest and toughest hooker in the Yukon."The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!"Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles."How do you know I want that position first?" asked the miner."I don't," replied the hooker, "but I thought you might want to open those beers first."

Are computers Male or Female? Decide for yourself!

Reasons to believe computers are Female:

Reasons to believe computers are Male:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about asinformative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you hadwaited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourselfspending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

WHAT'S HAPPENING IN MY LIFE

WELL I FINALY GOT INTO THE HOLIDAY SPIRT MY FRIEND, BOSS, & BLOGER NICK TEMPLE TOOK ME TO PICK UP MY KID'S X-MAS GIFT'S FROM THE SALVATION ARMY'S ANGLE TREE PROGRAM IT IS A VER NICE PROGRAM HER IN LOUISVILLE,KENTUCKY THAT HELP'S PPL BUY GIFT'S FOR CHILDERN FROM THE AGE OF 0MON'S ----- 14YEARS OLD MY KIDS GTOT ALOT AND I AM VERY THINK FULL FOR THAT BECAUSE I CANT AFFORD TO BUY THEM MUCH AT ALL SO I JUST WANTA SAY THANKS TO NICK AND EVERYONE AT THE SALVATION AMRY FOR ALL THE HELP... ALSO I HAVE BEEN HAVEING PROBLUMES WITH MY OLDEST DAUGHTER'S FATHER ABOUT CHILD SOUPPORT WELL THEY CONTACTED ME TODAY AND TOLD ME THE CHECK WAS MAILED TODAY SO HOPE FULY I WILL GET IT BEFOR X-MAS ....

WHAT I'VE LEARNED

'' if you think nobody cares if you're a live, try missing a couple of car payments.''
"common sense in not so common"
experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes"
"it's a small world, but i wouldn't want to have to paint it"
"it's amazing that the amount of new's that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper"
"let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain"
"the secret of staying young is to live honestly/ eat slowly, and lie about your age"

PRESERVING NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS

DISSOLVE ONE TABLESPOON OF PHILLIPS' MILK OF MAGNESIA [OR ONE TABLET]
IN ONE QUART CANADA DRY CLUB SOAD.
LET THE MIXTURE STAND OVERNIGHT. THE NEXT DAY, STIR THE MIXTURE WELL,
THEN SOAK YOUR CLIPPING IN SOLUTION FOR ONE HOUR.
BLOT THE NEWSPAPER CLIPPING BETWEEN TWO SHEETS OF PAPER TOWLES AND PLACE ON A SCREEN TO DRY.
THE ANTACIDS IN MILK OF MAGNESIA NEUTRALIZE THE ACIDS IN NEWSPRINT PRESERVING THE CLIPPING.

DO--IT--YOURSELF RECIPE

HOMEMADE "BIT-O-HONEY"

WHAT YOU NEED
from the supermarket:
.1/2 cup honey
.1/2 cup sugar
.1 ounce almond paste
.1 cup dry powderde milk


WHAT TO DO
melt honey, sugar, and almond paste togeather, stirring with a wooden spoon, intill reaching the soft-crack stage at 270 degrees fahernheit.
let cool to 180 degrees fahernheit. add dry powdered milk and mix well with the wooden spoon.
let cool to 110 degrees fahrenheit and rool out on a cutting board.
cut into rectangular chunks about one inch long.
let harden, wrap in wax paper to store.
makes approximately three dozen chunks.

{mi credo}

por donde vayas ire con una benda en los ojos lo que decidas hare el amor cuando es verdad es uno solo no me pregutas por que eh sido bueno contigo solo es que eres mi religion que me importa si le llaman fanatismo sin ti yo no soy el mismo eres mi credo pedazo de cielo abrasame fuerte mi trebol de buena suerte prefiedo morir juanto ati al no verte.

SADNESS

WELL AS CHRISTMAS FINALY ALMOST HERE THE SADER I GET.
IT REALY HAS BEEN A BAD YEAR FOR ME.
I WOULD SIT HERE AND WRITE ALL ABOUT MY BAD YEAR BUT I KNOW PPL REALY DONT READ MY STUFF ANY WAY.
WELL I FOR GOT MY FRIEND NICK DOES!
NICK HAS BEEN A GOOD PERSON TO TALK TO OVER THE YEAR'S.
HE HAS LISTEN TO ME NO MATTER WHAT WAS BOTHERING ME SO I JUST WANTA SAY tHANK'S NICK FOR BEING THERE
EVEN KNOW WE DIDNT GET TO MEET EACHOTHER UNTILL THIS YEAR....
WELL I HOPE EVEYONE HAS A HAPPY HOLIDAY.....
BYE

ANT HE SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY SANTA

who know's what they mean by this one?

santa ho ho ho

101 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly.13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." 16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." 17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol. 21. Practice making fax and modem noises. 22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss. 23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person." 26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy." 27. Wear a special hip holster for yourremote control. 28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. 31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice. 32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." 34. Drum on every available surface. 35. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates. 37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings. 38. Sew anti-theft detector stripsinto peoples backpacks.39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.41. Set alarms for random times. 42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. 43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 45. Honk and wave to strangers. 46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange. 47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies. 49. Wear your pants backwards. 50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!" 52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. 53. only type in lowercase. 54. dont use any punctuation either 55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 56. Pay for your dinner with pennies. 57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps. 60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories. 61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now." 62. Light road flares on a birthday cake. 63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador." 66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. 68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One." 69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. 72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 73. Drive half a block. 74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.75. Ask people what gender they are. 76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl. 78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes". 79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet. 81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 86. Wear a LOT of cologne. 87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." 88. Sing along at the opera.89. Mow your lawn with scissors. 90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!" 91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." 94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture." 95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 96. Never make eye contact. 97. Never break eye contact. 98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September. 101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

A LITTLE BIT OF WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY HOUSEHOLD

WELL FOR STARTER'S WE ARE A FAMILY OF 7. 3 KIDS 4 ADULT'S.
WE ARE GETING KICKED OUT. WE HAVEN'T YET FOUND ANOTHER PLACE TO LIVE.
I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
I HAVEN'T BOUGHT ANYTHANG FOR MY KID'S FOR X-MAS. I AM WAITING FOR A MIRCLE ON WOODBINE STREET.
MY LOVE LIFE IS FULL!!
I AM LOSEING MY MIND!!!!
I DONT HAVE A CAR.
WHAT IS A PERSON TO DO?
I DONT HAVE A CLUE!!!!!!!

HERE ARE SEVEN BIBLICAL STEPS TO RESTORING FELLOWSHIP

1. TALK TO GOD BEFOR TALKING TO THE PERSON
2. ALWAYS TAKE THE INITIATIVE.
3. SYMPATHIZE WITH THEIR FEELING.
4. CONFESS MY PART OF THE CONFLICT.
5. ATTACK THE PROBLEM, NOT THE PERSON.
6. COOPERATE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
7. EMPHASIZE RECONCILIATION, NOT RESOLUTION.
   

SANTA IS PISSED!!!!

A CHRISTMAS STORY
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFOR CHRISTMAS~OLD SANTA WAS PISSED.
HE CUSSED OUT THE ELVES AND THREW DOWN HIS LIST.
MISERABLE LITTLE BRATS, UNGRATEFUL LITTLE JERKS.
I HAVE A GOOD MIND TO SCRAP THE WHOLE WORKS!
I'VE BUSTED MY ASS FOR DAMN NEAR A YEAR,
INSTEAD OF "THANKS SANTA" ~ WHAT DO I HEAR?
THE OLD LADY BITCHES BECAUSE I WORK LATE AT NIGHT.
THE ELVES WANT MORE MONEY. THE REINDEER ALL FIGHT.
RUDOLPH GOT DRUNK AND GOOSED ALL THE MAIDS.
DONNER IS PREGNATEN AND VIXEN HAS AIDS.
AND JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THAT THINGS WOULD GET BETTER THOSE ASSHOLES FROM IRS SENT ME A LETTER,
THEY SAY I OWE TAXES IF THAT AIN'T DAMN FUNNY
WHO THE HELL EVER SENT SANTA ANY MONEY?
AND THE KIDS THESE DAYS ALL ARE PITS
THEY WANT THE IMPOSSABLE THOSE MEAN LITTLE SHITS!!!
I SPENT A WHOLE YEAR MAKEING WAGONS AND SLEDS
ASSEMBLING DOLLS... THEIR ARMS AND HEADS
I MADE A TON OF YO YO'S NO REQUEST FOR THEM
THEY WANT COMPUTERS AND ROBOTS...THEY THINK I'M IBM!!!
FLYING THROUGH THE AIR...DOGING THE TREE'S
FALLING DOWN CHIMMELYS AND SKINNING MY KNEES
I'M QUITTING THIS JOB THERE'S JUST NO ENJOYMENT
I'LL SIT ON MY FAT ASS AND DRAW UNEMPLOYMENT.
THERE'S NO CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR! NOW YOU KNOW THE REASON,
I FOUND ME A BLONDE. I'M GOING SOUTH FOR THE SEASON

LET IT SNOW OR WHAT EVER IT'S DOING

WELL IT HAS BEEN A VERY UGLY DAY TODAY OUT SIDE THAT IS SNOWING RAINING A LITTLE BIT OF EVERY THANG

yesterday

well yesterday i finaly met my online buddy from yahoo after years of messageing online and better yet he employed me hehehe... any ways it was nice to finaly meet in person but boy was i wore out when i came home i gave my kids a bath and waited on kids dad to come to take me to the store and came home took a bath and was out like a light..damn it felt good to help someone out and get out of the house for a change and also i must not forget the black cat at my friend's house very LOVEING cat LOL

MaYbE

If I had one single wish

I'd go back to the moment I kissed you goodbye

no matter how hard I've tried I can't live without you in my life!

maybe you would say you still love me

maybe you would say that you don't

baby we said it was over

but baby i can't let you go!

I walk around trying to understand where we wen't wrong

and I can't pretend it wasn't you and it wasn't me

I'm convinced we gave up too soon

there's nothing to lose after loseing you

when I run to you when I come to you,

you tell me it's to late

baby I cant let you go!!!

I hAvE aLwAy'S l0vEd Y0u

since the begining of time

since it started to rain

since I felt your pain

I was too young, you were much older

we were afraid of each other's hunger

I've always loved you

There's never been anyone else who has made me feel the way you make me feel

i have always loved you

since we kissed the first time

since we slept togeather

you were too close for comfort

you were too far out of reach

you walked away

I should have held you

would you have stayed for me to tell you ?

I've alwats loved you

year's go by in matter of day's

and thought we go our seperate way's

I never stop dreaming of you!

If I could live it all agian I'd never let it end

I'd still be with you

Oh God, I Miss You!!!!!