SANTA IS PISSED!!!!

A CHRISTMAS STORY
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFOR CHRISTMAS~OLD SANTA WAS PISSED.
HE CUSSED OUT THE ELVES AND THREW DOWN HIS LIST.
MISERABLE LITTLE BRATS, UNGRATEFUL LITTLE JERKS.
I HAVE A GOOD MIND TO SCRAP THE WHOLE WORKS!
I'VE BUSTED MY ASS FOR DAMN NEAR A YEAR,
INSTEAD OF "THANKS SANTA" ~ WHAT DO I HEAR?
THE OLD LADY BITCHES BECAUSE I WORK LATE AT NIGHT.
THE ELVES WANT MORE MONEY. THE REINDEER ALL FIGHT.
RUDOLPH GOT DRUNK AND GOOSED ALL THE MAIDS.
DONNER IS PREGNATEN AND VIXEN HAS AIDS.
AND JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THAT THINGS WOULD GET BETTER THOSE ASSHOLES FROM IRS SENT ME A LETTER,
THEY SAY I OWE TAXES IF THAT AIN'T DAMN FUNNY
WHO THE HELL EVER SENT SANTA ANY MONEY?
AND THE KIDS THESE DAYS ALL ARE PITS
THEY WANT THE IMPOSSABLE THOSE MEAN LITTLE SHITS!!!
I SPENT A WHOLE YEAR MAKEING WAGONS AND SLEDS
ASSEMBLING DOLLS... THEIR ARMS AND HEADS
I MADE A TON OF YO YO'S NO REQUEST FOR THEM
THEY WANT COMPUTERS AND ROBOTS...THEY THINK I'M IBM!!!
FLYING THROUGH THE AIR...DOGING THE TREE'S
FALLING DOWN CHIMMELYS AND SKINNING MY KNEES
I'M QUITTING THIS JOB THERE'S JUST NO ENJOYMENT
I'LL SIT ON MY FAT ASS AND DRAW UNEMPLOYMENT.
THERE'S NO CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR! NOW YOU KNOW THE REASON,
I FOUND ME A BLONDE. I'M GOING SOUTH FOR THE SEASON